Wandering and Pondering: A Reflection on Reflection

For the past few weeks my blog has been rather quiet! I have been so wrapped up in enjoying myself and taking in the experience of Vienna first hand that I have not found the time to sit and type. When I did have time to type I found myself berating myself for not sticking to at least two posts a week which led to me getting caught in a massive streak of writers block. All this combined with a big personal change and thoughts about problems at home had me wrapped up in a tizzy.

Now, I am certainly aware that no one is living or dying by my posting or not posting on here but I had wanted to keep this up as a way of sharing my experiences and recording them for later down the road when I miss Vienna. I can also already anticipate the onslaught of questions about my experiences and time over here. I really look forward to that and I think it presents itself as an interesting opportunity to show how the culture and experience over here has challenged me and my conceptions of the world but also show these kind of differences to friends and family at home who might not be aware of these kind of differences. One thing I am dreading is the question about any particular stories or instances that stood out.

It sounds a bit odd, I will admit that. I certainly have taken the time to think of some funny stories to tell or awe inspiring moments. But on the whole it has been hard to think of moments like these. Having been here so long and really feeling myself beginning to grow roots in Vienna it feels hard to dissect my time here. Dissect being the best word here. My time here has really flowed seamlessly. It has been one constant experience  for me and perhaps that is also why it has been hard for me to pick one thing out for blog posts. Anything I want to write about or talk about is so inherently connected with the other experiences I have had so far. It almost feels like no matter what I say or write it won’t quite come close what I’ve experienced. For most that’s perhaps a rather disappointing and negative observation. For me though, perhaps it is a positive. I can only try my best to tell about my time here and while it may not transfer as well as I want to capture the depth of the experience I have had at least that experience still happened and it is still uniquely mine.

Who knows though? Perhaps the difficulty I am having right now merely comes from still being here? Maybe with some distance the experiences will chunk up into more solid memories that will be more “dissect-able”. For now though, I’ve just been letting new experiences take me where they will. I keep notes of things that wow me but only when it feels organic, I don’t try to capture the moment with gun and cage. Pondering and wondering will always be an appropriate name for this blog. That is what I have been doing in Vienna. I’ve been walking with the city, not simply through it.

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